Our children go through so many emotional stages throughout their teenage lives. When your teenagers go through a breakup it’s a very difficult time for them to overcome. They will need your support to get through this difficult time.
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When they go through a breakup, your heart aches for them. I have been through that with my son and it isn’t easy. It’s an ongoing dilemma not only for your child but for the whole family who tries to rally around him and keep his spirits up.
From the day our children are born, it is a natural instinct to want to protect your child from anything that might hurt them. So, when your teen comes to you sad and upset over a breakup, you need to comfort them.
No matter if you have children who are in their teens with a teen crush or a college/university student who after a serious relationship gone wrong, will need you for comfort.
We as parents want to protect our children from any hurt that is inflicted upon them. We will do whatever it takes to help our children when someone breaks their heart.
To help our children in relationship woes, we as parents should just follow their lead. Just be there for them. Listen to what they need from you. Follow these leads for a little extra help in how to handle your teen’s breakup.
HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD WITH RELATIONSHIP WOES:
1. Talk to a Friend or another Family Member – when you see that your child is not acting him – or – herself and you discover they are heartbroken over someone, try talking to them.
If they are a little shy and don’t feel comfortable talking to you, encourage them to talk to a close friend or another family member. Just get them talking. It’s so much healthier to just let it all out. Your child needs comfort from their family and friends.
2. Good Qualities – remind your child of all the good qualities they have. Never let them think that they did anything wrong. They will be racking their brain trying to understand what they did wrong.
You have to talk them through this and let them realize they did nothing wrong. Let them realize they are a good person. Make them understand to not change their character or personality because of one person who doesn’t know a good thing when they see it.
3. Good Listener – before sharing your thoughts and before you become upset with the other party who put your child in this state, just listen to them explain.
Go somewhere quiet away from other family members and have them explain everything they feel comfortable explaining to you. They need to vent their frustrations and share their feelings with you.
4. Do Not Minimize – to you it might not be a huge crisis because it is a teenager and you may think that teenagers are sometimes dramatic. That might be the case but they are human beings with feelings. Their feelings are fragile probably more than an adult who has been through their fair share of relationship problems.
5. Not About You – do not badmouth the other party involved and tell them that they will take care of it. They don’t want to hear that. They still have feelings for this person. Again just be there for your child. Hold their hand, stroke their hair. Make them feel important and above all else make them feel loved. They need that from you.
6. Spend Time With Them – on the weekend have them come with you shopping at the mall. Take them with you to lunch or coffee. Just get them out of the house. Go for a nice long leisurely walk. Don’t talk about the issue at hand. Talk about school, their friends, sports. Get their minds off of their heartbreak.
7. Advise Them – you don’t have to be Dr. Phil to advise them on how to handle a relationship breakup. I’m sure that most of us have been through such heartbreaks. Speak from the heart. Try to tell them what they need to hear.
Encourage them to spend time with their friends. Check out the latest movie playing at the theatres. Go out to dinner with your friends. Play video games.
Time will heal all wounds. Do what you should have done at a time like this. What would have made you feel better?
Encourage Them To:
Cut off Social Media – it’s probably for the best to get them to cut off ties from all social media. It is the age of technology and everyone is on some type of social media. You don’t want your child searching for photos that will just send them into a downward spiral again. It will only be for a little while, until things get back to normal and the hurt goes away.
Texting – you can’t force it but suggest to your child to give up texting. They will want to text the other person to try to salvage the relationship. When it has come this far, suggest to them to cut off all ties. It’s for their better.
Calling – encourage them to stop calling as well as texting. Lessen the hurt.
Stay Active – encourage your child to go out for a walk by themselves or with a friend. To participate in a sport. Anything to get their minds off their ex
Don’t Talk About Ex – refrain from talking about the ex with your child. For that matter try to encourage them to not talk to friends about their ex. It will take away the pain that much faster.
Photos – have them remove any photos from the phone or their social media or from their bedroom. Out of sight, out of mind.
Give a Lot of TLC
There is nothing better than a little TLC from a loving parent that can’t help mend a broken heart. When it happened to my 20-year-old son, I wished his pain to go away.
I prayed that I could wipe away his pain. But, I couldn’t and I did my best to be there for him whenever he needed me . . . day or night. He did come to me for advice or just for an ear to bend.
It still hurts a lot but with time they will get over it. And as I told my son, he will love again.